A Special Day

Lying in my bed - not mine, really, but you get it - I was trying to comprehend what had just happened. I was just a silly girl, I felt quite serious and yet immature, responsible, but rather childish in a way. Not much different from the sixteen-year-old that I used to be and definitely not much different from that eighteen-year-old I was just two years before.

And yet, they trusted me with this tiny little being that I had just brought to this world. Should I feel guilty? Wasn't it irresponsible to do so? No matter how I should feel, I know I felt blessed. I thought I would be exhausted, but my eyes wouldn't close. They remained wide open almost till morning. Too much to take in.

Her first moments were so special: She just looked around as though she wanted to say: "So that's what it looks like out here..." A hiccup, a sneeze, no crying, no fuss...

A childbirth - an event so common in the existance of the mankind and yet it is so special in every woman's life. A new step in her life, no matter the circumstances.

Wondering if it shoud happen sooner or later, does not really matter. Should you wait till you have a job? And a house to live? Should you hurry and not wait till you're thirty or forty? So that you do not have a teenager when you're over fifty? Is it better to be a young mommy - not too serious - or a bit older - and more mature?

Whatever is better I know one thing: this particular child could be only born at that time, right? Genetics and stuff... And she has always been my sunshine... Wouldn't change her for anything.

As a small child she could always surprise me. As only little children can. I remember one day (she was about to get a brother, so she wasn't three yet), drawing and asking me:

"Mum, why do we have bell buttons?"
"Well, when the baby is inside, they cannot eat, so there is this cord from mum to the baby. That's where the baby gets the food."

She draws and after a moment or two she adds:

"But then chicks don't have belly buttons, do they?"

I never had to help her with her homework... and yet, we sometimes "study together" now that she's at the university... I'm glad to listen to the stuff I should know but have forgotten... How many mums can have that pleasure? And this is just one of the many little things I like about her.

She's all grown up now. She thinks with her own mind - as she always has and as I've always wanted her to. I don't always like her opinions... but that's anoher story. I'm not supposed to, right?

The only problem now is - what should I get her for her birthday? I'll try to cook something nice (but that's not a present yet), but I'm not much of a cook...

I'll try to think of something. However successul or unsuccessful I may be, I do wish you

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

dear!