It's just too full of thoughts, not having unloaded them here for such a long while, lazy me ... It's going to explode any minute and it won't look nice, I'm telling you! Make sure to keep a safety distance when that happens!
Yesterday I went to a competition. Archery. Yep. Full of hopes (not really, I have nothing much to expect), I was dissapointed soon after the trial shots. The trial series, you see, are usually alright. Quite good. But then ... I don't know what it is ... fear? And I wanted nothing but a decent result not to be ashamed of. Didn't happen. And I KNOW I can do better. And I do it for fun - so, why should I be bothered so much that it makes me shoot like shit? Sorry, that wasn't nice.
Usually the co-competitors at the same target talk a little (even when I was in Italy and my Italian really isn't too good), but this time we just didn't click. This woman I was shooting with - I know she's a gret person, but somewhat more serious than me or a different character or ... something. Anyway, I realized it was me not talking, not connecting, it just didn't work. Not that it would have mattered had I been shooting the way I can, but still, the atmosphere just wasn't right.
And I had to admit - and I did it out loud - sorry, I'm so cranky I can hardly stand myself. I feel like I should open the lid (like the top of my head) and let some of that out. I'm so terrible I must be radiating negative energy around me. Sorry for that.
In Italy a man said, "Ogni gara e una storia." - each competition is a story. Another story. I couldn't agree more.
The other day I was in Italy together with my MS and my son. My son did quite well and we thought he would win. He was better than the others in his category and there were only a few more to compete in the last "shift". Two or three of his friends, we thought, then it turned out there was only one - and that one wasn't good enough. And there was this Italian kid whom my son beat twoo weeks earlier with a score 529 (so the Italian guy had fewer points than that). And now my son's score was 563, so it's probably out of the other guy's reach.
We watched him shoot. One ten after another. And a nine. no eights. He was so good that when he didn't hit a ten WE were actually sorry. So concentrated. He must have done some serious work in these two weeks. Well done. Congratulations, gold for him and silver for my son. Italians, you see, are very serious about archery with about 2 000 000 archers (2 000 000 is the population of Slovenia, BTW), but they make lots of these nice cosy competitions.
But yesterday!!! Geeeez!!! 317 (out of 600!!!!) - who goes on a competition to achieve THAT!!!
Am I stupid or what?
Some things have happened since I last posted that are so much nicer than archery (and I still love archery). Remember I became I great aunt in April? Well, on 20th December two more great-nieces wee born. Two months early, but very healthy. Haven't had a problem since. Her parents (my first niece and her "husband") didn't alow visitors for some time and I think that was the only possible right decision in the time of flu and other viral infections.
Ahhh... and they're so so cute.
My head is a bit better now - I guess I should do this more often.