Friday, 29 May 2009

Please, Say It's Not True!


It's a story of "another woman".
I've just heard it.

There is this nice family of five: mum, dad and three children. The oldest boy is seventeen like my son. The next is a year younger. The girl is about twelve. They've just built a house. In fact, they're still finishing it and haven't moved there yet. It's a slow process that takes years (four? five?) to give your family a solid home to live, earned with your hard work and yet to be paid for, at least a part of it. Or it takes loads of money to do it quickly. Not very common, though. Anyway, this nice hard-working family are at the end of this journey. Should be moving there soon.

I like talking to her, the mum. She's my age. Nice small talk, we can share some problems and worries. He is a nice guy. Very smart, but not too much.You know those smart guys who know just about everything? Well, he's kind of going in that direction, but just not too far. So he's still nice. And if we need a hand, he offers his. Both of them. So he helped us move a very heavy wardrobe when we were doing some work around here and some other furniture, too. I didn't always ask him - on one occasion he noticed what we were doing and here he was. I was so grateful! Still am. The kids - normal kids. Normal teenagers, I'd say, the oldest two.

Today another neighbour told me what was bothering her: she heard that this nice smart guy, the husband of this nice mum of his kids, this reasonable and kind woman, was having an affair with another woman with whom he was seen together - driving, walking, holding hands. And this neighbour was upset about the fact that he did it - and the other woman also knew he was married, they live a few stairs apart. This neighbour is even more upset about it because she's been there. Yep. (So have I, in a way. But that was really very very different.) She was also angry with the woman who told her "the news". She heard it from someone who pretends not to be a gossip. Well, she is. She's the gossip queen.

This reminds me of a thing a friend of mine did years ago. He came to a cafe and saw their gossip queen there. Not paying any attention to her, he ordered coffee and started whining to the bartender, a good friend of his. He said no less than: "F...! I'm sc....! My wife is pregnant again!" The gossip queen stopped looking at the magazines she was looking at and left the cafe. The bartender got the joke: "You're a bastard you know that?"
Sure enough, the story of another and unplanned baby was out before he came out of that place. The woman made a fool of herself, spreading the news that was absolutely untrue. How this friend's wife took it, I do not know.

Anyway, when it comes to this family I was talking about - I'm still hoping the gossip queen got it wrong. Please!


  1. I am with you. I'd rather not know and people should keep their mouths shut. Plus, one never really knows what goes on between a couple or their reasons for doing anything.

  2. I love the bar story. I've always known you were a fab storyteller! Sad about that guy if it is true, but let's hope it is not.

  3. I have mixed feelings. Not that you have any responsibility to do anything, but if the story is true and the wife is clueless, it's a shame - I wonder how she would feel later on knowing that others knew about it before she did. An ethical dilemma!

    I have the happy fortune to be married to someone who feels pretty lucky he got me, so he can have friendships with women and there's no concern on anyone's part (he had two wonderful younger women friends join him as part of a dissertation support group, and they all helped each other finish their Ph.D. degrees).

  4. California Girl, tat's what I always say - you NEVER know. Even the couple themselves do not always understand the whole thing, let alone the people around them.
    The bar story is true and he himself loves telling it sometimes. I guess the wife just said he was crazy or something. I know her and I don't think she was angry.

    About telling the woman - saying something not being even sure if it's true could cause trouble where there is none. Besides, I have the experience from the other side of a similar story. I didn't blame my co-worker and friend when she told me she had the same dillema and didn't tell me. But then, I knew about it.

    I'll wait and see. And hope unless/until the facts prove me wrong.

  5. Well, I certainly wouldn't pass on unproven suspicions. And actually I would likely mind my own business in any case. Hope it isn't true!

  6. I agree with California Girl!!! It may or may not be true; it would be none of my business. I do not trust anyone who gossips or judges another person. (just my humble opinion, which isn't worth a whole lot)! :))